Gordon Lightfoot Forums - Turn Up The Thermostat

Brrrrrrrr This "top ten" list is based upon a true story. Inspired by my other "slumlord". It was back in the Winter of 2000 or 2001 when the cheapskate froze the pipes to the entire house because he refused to turn up the thermostat above 50 degrees....even when it was below freezing outside.

Then he was too cheap to pay the extra to hire someone to come out since it was the evening and into the weekend. When he told me he was going to borrow a torch to thaw out the pipes, I reminded him that we had gas heat and he could blow us up into smithereens.

TOP 10 Signs That You Are A Cheapskate So Just Turn Up The Thermostat Already!!!!

10. Uh, remember that winter when the pipes froze because you had the
thermostat set at 50 and it was 40 below outside?!!!!

9. You did not want to buy a frozen turkey, opting instead for the
fresh, hormone-free, free-range, microbiotic, cruelty-free, carefully
fed bird for $10.29/lb. Once you got it home, it froze solid in 24 hours
and you couldn't cook it. Well, that was last year! Since then, it finally
thawed and you got all excited about finally getting to cook it this year but
guess what?

8. Icicles are hanging from the edge of the roof of the stable...on your
nativity scene set on the mantle of your fireplace!

7. You needed to use an icepick to get your clothes out of the washing
machine and into the dryer.

6. How clever! You carry around a space heater from room to room and use
an electric blanket to keep you warm at night. Gas bill...$.0, Electric bill...$825.02.

5. You're at the mall doing some X-Mas shopping and all the Goths keep
stopping to ask you which store had you bought that crudely-kewl blue
shade of lipstick.

4. When you wake up in the morning, your eyelashes are frozen
because...you got a visit from the iceprincess instead of the sandman.

3. You're in the process of bidding on another space heater on e-bay and your
computer froze.

2. Before you can flush the toilet, you have to go to the laundry room
and get the ice pick.....

And finally #1. Those aren't sparklies in your toothpaste...they're ice crystals!